Sunday, March 06, 2005

Booze on the Cruise

As your ship's bartender (double snap guns), I look forward to serving you responsibly some of the finest seafaring drinks. We'll need to raise the cash for a Jeroboam of bubbles (http://www.giantbottles.com)--to start us off--beer, beer, beer, rum, rum, rum and a little bourbon (Bourbon doesn't come in Jeroboams... I've looked). No mixers.

I'll put together a list. Send requests.

All flavored vodkas and lite beers are prima facie vetoed.

Derek

21 comments:

Wicketywack said...

Last year it was all Coors Light and I'm totally for making it a bit more interesting this year. I wonder if we can get a price for the booze on this trip for each person, Derek ....

This is an important part of this trip. Everyone's input is encouraged.

As the captain, my only parameters are that the fewer glass bottles the better. I want to limit the glass on the boat to magnum bottles of champagne and bourbon.

So rule # 1 on this trip: No beer in bottles. As far as what kind, I don't care.

Isaac Washington said...

Gopher,

International waters, baby. Tell Steu to ease up.

Isaac

All Rounder said...

I'm not against Coors Light, in fact cheap water like beer can go down fast and easy as long as it's cold. I say this because last year the three of us went through a truly astonishing amount of beer. I'm not fratboy bragging, either - we just kept a rolling buzz the entire four days and went through a shitload of alcohol.

Often times there is nothing to do EXCEPT drink on the boat. 3 guys went through A TON of beer - 9 guys will need more hard stuff. I don't want anyone getting shocked with a huge tab.

Having said all that, I'll drink anything.

Wicketywack said...

Another thing about a beer like Coors Light is that it's almost impossible to get REALLY wasted off it. You can sit there and drink it all day in the sun and still feel relatively fine. And it's cheap, too.

I second Jason on this. It's enough that you're out in the sun all day sweating your balls off. You don't need to couple this with some heavy dark beer like Beck's or Sam Adams that will put you over the edge (literally and figuratively). Coors Light has never failed me on a boat.

As for the other stuff, I'm totally down for whatever. Rum, bourbon, magnums of champage, etc. Derek, I have no idea what these all would cost so let's figure out a bar tab we can all agree on.

I think we should first all agree on the type of beer we want, and then leave it up to Derek to wow us with the other beverages, after he runs the price by us of course.

All Rounder said...

Derek,

Is there anything you need for your ship's bar (what is a bar on a ship called, anyway). You'd think there is some type of nautical synonym for it. I'll write you a list of the bottles of stuff i have that I will never use and you can let me know what is worth bringing (if any).

Isaac Washington said...

Wow, an impassioned cry for Coors Lite. I can drink deKoenick and piss it out for ya... same thing. Joking. I didn't say no Coors, just no Coors lite. Or Absolut Mandarin.

Remember guys, I can get us cheap booze. That's no problem. Why don't we just start with a $$$ amount... $75 each, $50 each, more?

Wicketywack said...

Coors Light is $19.99 a 30 pack. If we each drink like 12 beers a day that will total $295 (including 5% tax) worth of beer for the whole trip. That's $33/person just for beer. If we each pay $75 for beer/booze, Derek, that leaves $378 just for non-beer drinks. Will that cover a proper ship's bar? Or is that too much?(rum, etc.)

Hard Work Cures All said...

I am all for the Coors Light. For the land Lubbers they can have there fancy schmanzy beers because I will need as much chum as I can get to catch the Big Rock.

CT First Mate

All Rounder said...

And it's reflective skin can be used as a distress signal to our rescue tow ship.

Isaac Washington said...

I can't think of anything more manipulated and dainty, anything "fancier" in the sense of being precious girlie water than f-ing Coors lite. But yous drink what yous like. Damon, re-read Modern Drunkard magazine on beer snobbery. That's your punishment. The rest, your punishment is to drink Coors Lite ;) If the crew wants it, you got it. But I did register my protest... its on the ship's log. Coors Lite it is.

Wicketywack said...

Here are the different types of beer according to Modern Drunkard Magazine (note that Coors Light is not listed) -->

bock: this German beer is named for the billy goat, because, just like a billy goat, it’s lively, strong and smells like a billy goat.

doppelbock: German for double billy goat. You get the idea.

export: this is a type of beer so awful the locals refuse to drink it, so the brewery ships it off to foreigners who don’t know any better.

fruit: these flavored beers were introduced to appeal to women and certain men who get very defensive when you inform them they are plainly homosexual.

lager: there are those who like to say this light, golden beer is served cold so as to distinguish it from urine, but the truth of the matter is urine also has a much better head.

malt liquor: some will argue this is not beer at all, but let me tell you something: if it tastes like a duck, smells like a duck and makes you walk like a duck, it is probably malt liquor.

porter: this strong beer was named for the rugged laborers who made it popular in Old England and would quite frankly drink billy goat sweat if it got them drunk.

stout: these dark, rich beers are called such because after drinking a dozen of them you will feel stout enough to wrestle all four of the cops by yourself.

Leiostomus xanthurus said...

I still have a good 200ml of absinth left, We can slam it and paint. Makes for good sailing!

All Rounder said...

You have to bring the absinth. Are you sure it's real?

Wicketywack said...

Absinth on a boat? Lord, kill me now...

Leiostomus xanthurus said...

Definitely real absinth, I bought in Prague!

All Rounder said...

What does that buzz do to you, make you hallucinate? I can't remember. Isn't it made from wormwood?

Isaac Washington said...

An interesting analysis of the H.M.S. Bounty mutiny.

http://www.lareau.org/blighford.html

Isaac Washington said...

http://paranoia.lycaeum.org/alcohol/absinthe-faq.html

Here ya go Jason.

Wicketywack said...

I just found this drink online:

Absinthe Suissesse

1 1/2 oz absinthe
2 - 3 drops anisette
2 - 3 drops orange flower water
1 tsp white creme de menthe
1 egg white

Leiostomus xanthurus said...

I was planning on a straight mix with Jaegermeister, Or a simple but sweet Natural Light Boiler maker, MMNMN Tasty

Wicketywack said...

Boy, I don' unnerstan' a werd you jus' said.